Just shoot me

I found out a few days ago that a story I published online about a weird work adventure, is being picked up by a network that does re-enactments of weird tales of the workplace. I love that idea, but they're going to interview me too - and that part I'm not quite so down with. Why? I look like utter and complete crap on video. My face expands to fill all available screen space, and I look like a giant matzoh ball that's been sitting in its bath of chicken soup for a about a week. Plus I feel fat all the time anyway. I'm going through a phase where I only let people take pictures of me from above. I'm forgetting, I guess, that though my double chin is hidden here, all my other fat looks pretty much the same no matter what the angle.